Hello!  I'm sure that all of you are breathless in anticipation of a new tour from Henry Rollins. Tours are usually chock-full of opportunities to get in there and waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy! But with no tour, chances of getting in there with the big guy are slimmer for those of us who do not live near Mr. Rollins. And so I am offering this opportunity for you to live out your dream. You too can meet Henry Rollins!!  It has taken me many years and much trial and error, but finally I have developed a course that will teach you all the most valuable things that you need to know in order to meet the Man!  Learn how and where to stalk Henry, who to get friendly with to get closer to him, where all his favorite hangouts are, all for the low, low cost of $19.95 (+ 3.95 shipping and handling.)  For slightly more, you can learn where Henry buys his groceries and his shirts, or the hotels he stays at where he steals his toilet paper, so that you may seek out employment there and be able to discuss the weather with him. Just think, you, too, can have a nifty, believable story to report to Rollins-Archive.com! All for $29.95 (+ 4.95 shipping and handling.)  And finally, in the advanced course, learn how to make important people think that you're a maid, window washer, or gardener, so that you can GET INTO HENRY'S HOME! With the right tools (along with my valuable tips) you can break into Henry's house, try on his clothes, play his albums, and sleep on his cum-encrusted futon! Act now, and as a special incentive for buying the advanced kit, you'll also get your very own Super Silly Brush Set with enclosed instructions on how to run up to Henry in the street and steal samples of his hair that you can keep, look at, and smell forever, before he even knows what hit him! All of this for only $49.95 (+ 6.95 shipping and handling.)  Send money and inquiries to:  Super Silly  P.O. Box 34378  Borscht Boz, UT 08867  "This product is an absolute must-have. Not only will the public at last be able to realize their lifelong dreams of meeting Henry Rollins, but people will also learn how to feel empowered and take control of their destinies, instead of sitting in their bedrooms waiting for Henry to come to them on a tour. Shy, awkward adolescents have become aggressive, violent, and intrusive in less than 30 days-- I've seen it myself! I highly recommend this course."--Anthony Robbins' Bottom  30 Day Guarantee--If within 30 days of having purchased my course you have not become aggressive, violent, and intrusive, and have not at the very least spotted Henry Rollins from the distance of a city block, I will refund you 1/3 of the purchase price (excluding shipping and handling)! You can't go wrong! Act now!  CAVEAT EMPTOR